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User blog:Blue Jay Superior/How? (SEASON FINALE)
WARNING: Do not read How? if you are pregnant, had a recent surgery, easily get motion sickness, or have heart trouble. Or Jay trouble. Which One? was a faux title by the way... HA! This is going to be a long one, guys... Jay: "Watch the last letter?" What's that supposed to mean? Computer: RECEIVING MESSAGE... Jay: Wait, why am I getting two messages in one day? That never happens. One hour later... Computer: RECEIVING MESSAGE... Jay: When will this message load? Computer: MESSAGE RECEIVED. *screen goes black* Jay: Where's the message? Computer: *reboots* Jay: Who are you, Gaea? Computer: THIS IS MY FINAL MESSAGE. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO PREPARE. THERE'S NO ESCAPE. THE ANSWER IS MORE OBVIOUS THAN YOU THINK, BUT THE QUESTION IS NOT. DON'T YOU SEE? I AM GAEA. I HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER EARTH. NOW, I CAN ONLY USE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF CHARACTERS, SO I'LL MAKE THIS QUICK. NOTHING CAN HELP YOU. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC. An earthquake separates Jay from the computer. Jay: HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS? Gaea: Ah, that's the question, now isn't it? "How are you doing this?" Remember, you've got two minutes to prepare... But first... The computer flies at Jay, and all messages pop up on the computer at once. Gaea: You can figure out who I am. Watch the last letter! Jay's trash can falls into the earthquake. Jay: My trash can! Gaea: Oh, Jay... What was in the trash? Jay: *looks down to see the trash can empty* Well, there's nothing in my- FLASHBACK Trash Can: *magically walks outside and jumps in the garbage truck* Jay: I need a new trash can... Again... END OF FLASHBACK, BY THE WAY WE SHORTENED THAT FLASHBACK, BECAUSE, SPOILERS... SPOILERS AND TIME CONSTRAINTS... Jay: I haven't bought a new trash can yet! Gaea: You never noticed, did you? Here's the real question: How was it still there? Jay: No... NO... YOU CAN'T BE! *looks at the last letter of each message* You are! Gaea: Watch the last letter! Jay: I can't believe that you're- Jay, don't spoil anything! Jay: But I know who Gaea is- Well, don't tell the audi- OW! Jay: What was that ow for? I just got smacked with a frying pan. Gaea: One minute! Tick tock! Jay: *grabs a staff and a scarf* I'm ready, Gaea! Gaea: Really? A staff and a scarf? Jay: It's a magic staff! And this scarf just looks cool. Gaea: I already told you, Jay. There is no such thing as magic. Jay is teleported to Gaea's base. Jay: Oh, but there is! Gaea: Soon, your silly little Penguin Isle will be destroyed. Jay: You may have hypnotized my friends, and my enemies may all be here. You've just forgotten one thing. Gaea: And what is that? Jay: DUCK! Jay uses his staff to lift up a hypnotized ADL and Vove, then launches them at Gaea in midair. Gaea: *creates an earthquake in the air somehow, pulling in ADL and Vove* Jay: You're a clever one, aren't you? Gaea: That is not magic, Jay. *the earthquake closes, then reopens and shoots ADL and Vove back at Jay* Jay: Oh, you wouldn't have any power at all if you didn't have the help of your minions. Gaea: MINIONS! GET HIM! The entire PSA and Sasquatch charges at Jay. Jay: *bounces over the PSA* VILLAINS! All the villains look at Jay. Happy Herbert: Yes? Jay: Today is the day to be triumphant! You want to defeat the PSA? How's your chance! The villains consider this. Jay: All in favor, say aye! There is a long moment of silence. Jay: Oh, come on! Long moments of silence just make it more dramatic and more probable that someone will actually say "aye!" And then all of you will say aye! Smulley: Aye! Jay: What? You're a robot! Smulley: I have no feelings, so I can decide easily... And I have no regard for the one who claims to be my father! Douglas: What? YOU claim that I am your father, not the other way around- Smulley: *shoots at Douglas* Douglas: GAH! *jumps out of the way* Happy Herbert: AYE! Jay: Well, you are one of the PSA's worst enemies, Happy Herbert... Happy Herbert: BABY, BABY, BABY, OH! The hypnotized PSA just stands there, as they are hypnotized and don't care about Justin Bieber whatsoever. Perry the Pizza Guy: *walks in, tossing a pizza* I heard something about pepperoni, so I came right away! Douglas: You're an hour and seventeen minutes late. Perry the Pizza Guy: Well, where's the pepperoni? Tusk: It's radioactivity, idiot. Perry the Pizza Guy: I AM NOT AN IDIOT! Everybody: Yes, you are. Popcorn Guy: There are SO many villains that aren't even here yet. The Moon, Not Helmet, Budder Ninja, Marivel the Evil Ram, Tim, and Tom are standing in the doorway. Not Helmet: Well it's not our fault that the Moon is cramming the door! Budder Ninja: *butters himself and slips past the Moon* Okay, I'm here now. Marivel the Evil Ram: Why am I here, I'm just a joke character! Tim and Tom: Now's your chance to win fabulous prizes in this story! Locy: *throws a frying pan that hits Marivel, Tim, and Tom, then comes back to her* FRYING BOOMERANG! The Moon: *breaks down the doorway* I'M HERE! Jay: KILL THE MOON!!! Gaea: Anyways, you're not going to defeat my minions. ATTACK, MINIONS! Smulley: EVERYBODY, DUCK! Jay: Smulley, I already tried throwing ADL and- Smulley: *shoots a nuclear missile at the PSA* Jay: Oh, you're being literal. DON'T KILL THEM!!! Smulley: I thought that was the whole point. Jay: IF YOU KILL THEM, YOU'LL HAVE NOBODY ELSE TO GET REVENGE ON! Smulley: Oh, please, that's the entire plot of every children's movie with a villain there is! I'll probably just keep trying to take over Club Penguin Island and succeed because there are no more agents in the EPF! Jay: Good point... Maybe it was a bad idea to ask you villains to help me defeat the PSA... Locy hits the nuclear bomb back at Smulley with her frying pan. Smulley: ...I'm going to upload myself to a computer now. *deactivates* Jay: AHH! *opens up a portal with the staff, and the nuclear bomb is transported to another dimension* Gaea: HOW DID YOU DO THAT? Jay: Magic! Gaea: Minion #42! Attack! Gary: *charges with a coffee cup* YES, MASTER! Jay: *shoots a portal in front of Gaea and a portal in front of himself* Gary: *runs through Jay's portal, then teleports to the portal in front of Gaea and spills coffee in her eyes* Gaea: OW! Gary: Sorry, Master. Gaea: I WILL DISINTEGRATE YOU NOW! Pixie: *becomes unhypnotized* NO! Jay: *attracts Gary using staff* I present the Magic Staff! Gaea: THERE. IS. NO. SUCH. THING. AS. MAGIC! *begins to disintegrate Gary* Jay: *throws Gary into an alternate universe* Umm, that's obviously asking for a spin-off of this series. Coming soon: Gary's Adventures in Coffeeland! Pixie: Jay! You saved Gary? Jay: Pixie? You're not hypnotized anymore? Pixie: No... It's weird... It happened when Gary was being disintegrated... Gaea: *rehypnotizes Pixie* WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE POWER OF LOVE? Douglas: Did someone say LOVE? Guy from Disney: *writes this down* Guys, I got an idea for our next movie! Gaea: Whatever... I'll just enhance their hypnotism now! *presses a button* Jay: NOT THE CLICHÉ BUTTON! Gaea: Now there is no possible way for them to be unhypnotized! Audience: COME ON, JUST TELL US WHO GAEA IS ALREADY! Sorry, we can't do that. Not yet. Gaea: You've only defeated two people... This is going to take forever... Douglas: Technically, he didn't defeat Smulley- Gaea: I don't care, Danny! Douglas: My name isn't Danny! Jay: *hypnotizes the villains with staff* Let's make this battle even, shall we? Gaea: I thought you'd never ask! MINIONS, ATTACK CATHERINE JAY SENSEI! Jay: WAIT! I need to hypnotize one more villain... Gaea: You can't hypnotize me, Jay- Jay: One, yes I can. Two... *summons Mr. Mister Mister Mister* I'm hypnotizing British Accent Guy. Gaea: Umm... Okay... Jay: Oh, and shall we add a few more dragons to the fight? Gaea: No- Jay: *opens a portal to Blisk, and a bunch of dragons fly through* Gaea: This base is getting way too crowded... Jay: I agree. *makes the base 100x its size and floating in the sky above Club Penguin* Gaea: Okay, that's better. Now, minions, ATTACK CATHERINE JAY SENSEI! The minions clear a path for somebody. Gaea: What are you doing? Wingman's Left Half: Attacking, Master. Wingman's Right Half: Yes, Master. Gaea: Okay, go ahead. Jay: What could Wingman do? He's just a little split-in-half Puffle! Both halves of Wingman shoot a rainbow at Jay. Jay: Oh, that's what I missed. *uses the staff to bend the rainbow back at both halves of Wingman* Both Halves of Wingman: AHH! RUN! Good idea. *hops away* Jay: Villains, attack the PSA. Oh, and dragons, too. Scorn: I'm a villain and a dragon. Jay: Whatever. Popcorn Guy: *tackles Locy* YOU'RE GOING DOWN! Locy: Not if my frying pan can help it! Douglas: *is frozen by Charlie* SON, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? Charlie: Minion does what Master says. Scorn: *breathes fire at everyone* Both Halves of Wingman: *shoot a rainbow at Scorn* Scorn: NOT AGAIN! Sasquatch: *chases Mr. Mister Mister Mister with a chainsaw* Please stay out of my cave, Mr. Mister Mister Mister! Mr. Mister Mister Mister: *runs away* Please, don't kill me! Jay: Why is Sasquatch talking normally? Gaea: I took away their uniqueness. They were too unique. Jay: YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY WHAT MAKES SOMEONE- Charlie: SPESHUL! Jay: Yeah, what he said! Gaea: Please, this isn't a children's movie. Jay: Oh, right. Gaea: Now, in every cliché spy movie, the villains win, right? Wrong. The heroes always defeat the villains. And, since I've hypnotized the heroes, they're going to win. Jay: So, you're saying, that I'm going to defeat you? Gaea: What? Um, forget what I just said. Anyways, YOU'RE GOING DOWN! Jay: Dragons, attack! Dragons: *breathe fire at the PSA* Charlie holds a snow shield to protect the PSA, but it's melting. Gaea: Why are you doing this to your friends? You want to roast them to death? Jay: No... I don't want them to die... Gaea: Look at how many of your friends have already fallen in battle! Aunt Arctic trips over a rock. Aunt Arctic: I've fallen and I can't get up! Jay: The villains outnumber the PSA, but more villains have fallen than members of the PSA... Gaea: Ha! You underestimated yourself! Jay: RETREAT! The villains run out the door, and the dragons fly back into Blisk. Jay: Hey, villains, you do know that this base is floating in midair, right? Gaea: They'll figure out eventually. Jay: Eh. *turns to the PSA* I don't care if you guys are hypnotized, you're still part of the PSA. The PSA is meant to patrol, to save, and to be awesome. But you guys aren't patrolling, or saving... Although I must admit, that fight was kind of awesome. Gaea: You think you can convince them to help you? They are hypnotized forever! Jay: *ignoring Gaea* I must say that I underestimated something so small. Oh, and you too, Wingman. But inside, we all have the power to overcome our enemies. Even my enemies do, and other cliché stuff. (Wow, we've used that word a lot today...) I'm not sure where Gaea got her power. *turns to Gaea* But Gaea, I'm sorry to tell you, that Gaea is the Greek person of the Earth. Gaea: I know that. Your point is? Jay: This isn't Earth. Club Penguin Island is on a whole different planet than Earth, which is a planet for humans, in the human world. Gaea: So what? Jay: You shouldn't be able to control our planet. Gaea: ...you're right. I've been using this device this whole time to disguise myself as Gaea. Even though I can control this planet, this planet isn't Earth. Jay: You can't even control this planet, you can only control Club Penguin Island. Gaea: Uggh. This doesn't matter at all! Just because you've revealed an error in my name... That doesn't do anything! Jay: Oh, but it does. You are NOT Gaea. You can't even control these penguins. Gaea: Oh, but I can! MINIONS, ATTACK CATHERINE JAY SENSEI! Jay: *throws staff on the ground* PSA... The Director will give you your instructions. The PSA charges at Jay. Jay: Well, that didn't work. *grabs staff* I do know something that the PSA can't resist... Gaea: And what is that? Jay: ROLEPLAYING! Locy: *hits Jay with a frying pan* Gaea: Jay, this IS a Roleplay! Jay: I can get them to Roleplay within a Roleplay. Gaea: That's not even possible! Jay: Oh, I'll just summon versions of the PSA a from past and future Roleplays to come here and fight the PSA! After all, the PSA outnumbers the PSA. Gaea: That doesn't even make sense! Oh, and how can you do that? *causes an earthquake below Jay, and the staff falls in* Jay: Uggh, that question's been said like four times today... You want to know how? Gaea: Yes. Jay: Magic! Suddenly, several versions of the PSA from the past and future appear with other versions of Jay. The versions of the PSA charge at the hypnotized PSA. Jay: Oh, and remembering to get several versions of the PSA from the past and future after this battle. Gaea: So... Am I truly defeated? Jay: Well, we can't be too sure... Just sure enough. *breaks Gaea's disguising device* Former Gaea: NO! Audience: CAN WE LEARN WHO SHE IS NOW? Sure, why not? Jay: Yay! Former Gaea rolls next to Jay, revealing herself to be... The Tragic 8 Ball. Jay: Watch the last letter. The last letter of every message you sent me formed the word "TRAGIC." Tragic 8 Ball: Yes... Yes it did. I needed revenge! So, I rolled out of your trash can by myself, took the trash can back inside, and went to the Tragic 8 Ball Factory and took it over as my base. Then, from there, I hacked your computer and sent messages to you. With my hacking skills, I hacked some technology that was made by your friend- Gerald the Hatchet Guy, was it?- and I learned that I had enough power to take over Club Penguin Island! Step 1... Destroy you. Jay: Well, I'm going to return things to normal now, if you don't mind. Nothing will be tragic anymore. Step 1... Destroy you. Tragic 8 Ball: Are you really going to kill me? Jay: You're just a toy... A toy with a mind... So, you got revenge for having a tragic backstory... Wait, theoretically, you have a mind because of magic? Tragic 8 Ball: Umm... Yes. Jay: *lightbulb appears over head* I think I could find a better use for you... *screaming* JAYS! RETURN TO YOUR TIME WITH THE REST OF THE PSA! THE BATTLE IS OVER! Other Jays: We already knew that! *all disappear with the other PSAs* Jay: Now, Tragic 8 Ball... You're never going to be tragic again. *disassembles Tragic 8 Ball* The PSA is unhypnotized. Everybody: What are we doing here? Jay: *reassembles Tragic 8 Ball, but changes it* Goodbye guys, I'll explain later... I'm going to sell this in the past, in the human world, and make a bunch of other ones... *goes back in time into the human world* And that's HOW the Magic 8 Ball was created. THE END... OF SEASON 1. So, now that Season 1 is over (and you've discovered the disturbing truth of the Magic 8 Ball), type in the comments what your favorite episode from Season 1 was. After I get 5 comments of your favorite episode from this season, I'll start Season 2. Bye! P.S. Starting in Season 2, there will be a comment system like in penguins.doc. Category:Blog posts